More Client Stories
When I first came to the Hope Center I didn’t care for it much, there were a lot of rules that didn’t make sense to me at first. I just thought they were trying to break me down, but I was broken before coming in. I realized they were actually trying to fix me and I just had to let them. It’s been a good experience for me, I need this in my life. I’ve been here for a little over four months and this place has really grown on me, I’m glad to be here now.
Before I came my life was hectic, really unorganized and just a mess. I thought I had structure in my life and that I was a pretty high functioning drug addict, but I wasn’t. This is the place to get help, but you got to want it. A lot of people need the help but they don’t want it. If you want it though, this place can definitely help. Staying here is what has been the most helpful part, t
here have been days I just wanted to leave, but the fellowship was what helped me stay. Being able to talk to someone about anything on my mind or about what’s eating at me, that’s what made everything alright. I’ve been able to learn a lot about myself and other people too. I was able to accept a lot of things that caused me to do what I was doing that I shouldn’t have done. The Hope Center put me where I need to be. For this next chapter I look forward to my future accomplishments and just being able to enjoy life. Before I came here, I was running around aimlessly and looking for something I couldn’t find, but I was able to find it here. It’s crazy how this place works, it is truly a blessing to be here, it really is.
Before I started my life was irresponsible, unmanageable and crazy, that’s the best way to put it. I’m just lucky to be alive and be here today with all that I’ve been through. I started the program in jail and have been doing it since January 10th. It’s been a hard journey, not so much now as when I came in but it has been hard. When I came in I was broken, lost, angry, I didn’t want it because I was coming from drug court and then somewhere along the way it just clicked. My intentions when starting were to do it just to get out of jail, at first I was just doing the steps because I was supposed to, I was just going through the motions but before they will sign your certificates there certain things you have to know, one day I was saying the steps over and over and repeating the principles behind them, then it was like a flicker and suddenly it clicked. Now I love it here because this is such an awesome place, the staff are awesome people and you can really feel the love in here. When you come in you feel like nobody but you walk out feeling like a somebody.
When I look back, I’m so grateful now for the people here and the people in my life. My biggest motivation is I have my family back in my life, I’ve got a job where I get to help other people and they are about to give me an apartment at the Rouse House. For other people in a situation who might have to come here, you got to stick with it. It won’t be rainbows and sunshine every day, there will be days that are hard, but it’s so worth it in the end. I wouldn’t go back now. My best day out there, the days when I had so much money I didn’t even know what to do with it, can’t top my worst day in here. I’d rather be in here with nothing than be out there with everything because out there I was miserable. I didn’t care about myself, I didn’t care if I was alive or dead and that’s not a life.
Even though I haven’t gotten to experience some of the things that some of the other girls have because of COVID, I’m so thankful that we still have a program. I just started peer mentoring very recently and I like it already, I also got asked to talk to someone the other day because we have a similar story and it felt good being able to connect with someone else that’s in a similar situation. Now I look forward to being able to go back to school, I don’t even have an idea what I want to go for but I just want to learn.
I grew up in Winchester. Alcohol has always been my drug of choice but I’ve used a lot throughout the years. My mother passed away a couple years ago and it led me into a deep depression. It tore my immediate family apart. I was just living a life of self-pity and my drinking escalated a lot. A month and a half before I came here I was at rock bottom. I had totally surrendered to my addiction: I couldn’t make decisions or do simple things. One night I’d had enough and I went out into the front yard. I’d be lying if I said the thought of killing myself didn’t creep into the back of my mind. God’s always been a part of my life – I’ve always said he’s given me ample opportunities, and I’ve turned my back on him. He’s never turned his back on me. I prayed out loud right then and there, and I just said I was tired of screwing up. A month and a half later, I ended up at the Hope Center. I had a friend drive me up here and he couldn’t understand why I would want to come, but I was at the end. I knew that if I didn’t go I was going to die. I was in a fog, I went through terrible withdrawal and I got really sick. The first night while laying in the floor I heard my higher power say, “All you need to do is concentrate on breathing. I’ll take care of the rest.” The next morning, I was so glad to see the sun come up because I knew I made it through the night. I was so sick, I was just focusing on the small things I was getting accomplished.
I started going to meetings through withdrawal, and they saw that I was motivated and I really wanted recovery.
I felt like I was walking around in a fog, and slowly things were getting better. This place gives you the tools to realize that alcohol and drugs aren’t the problem, there’s some deep hidden issues that you have to find and confront. I lived in fear and insecurity my whole life. It’s all starting to sink in now, I’ve seen it in other guys as well as myself. I realized I have some health issues, and if I hadn’t come here when I did, they wouldn’t have caught it in time. The Hope Center got me insurance, and there’s so many benefits from being in the program – and it’s free!
As of right now I plan on staying on and peer mentoring, I know I would really enjoy that.
I grew up in Lexington, and I moved to Kansas City in 2005 after a short time in college. I’ve been out in Kansas City for 14 years and just moved back here basically to run away from all the problems I had out there. I ended up at the Hope Center because of my higher power. I didn’t know where to go so I called a number in the phone book for a recovery center in Louisville, but they were full so she gave me the number for the Hope Center Emergency Shelter. I came down that day. I went through detox and there I met Jamie and Joe, and they convinced me to stay and get into the Recovery Program. Now, I have almost 24 hours left in the program and I’ve been sober for 7 months.
I am so grateful and so fortunate, I’ve been shown how to love myself and be proud of myself for the first time.
I was never able to say that until now – I owe a great debt to this place. I came into the program completely blind. Staying here was not my choice and I wanted to leave many times, but you have to take it one day at a time – the days turn into weeks and then into months.
I planned to complete the program and move away, but now I’m going to stay and peer mentor and go back to school.
I’m about to turn 40, and now I have a lot to show for it.
My life was out of control before I got here. I had a job and I was making good money, but I had a secret life where I was contributing to my habit. I grew up in Hartland County. My father passed away in the coal mines so I was raised by a single mother who did her best. I was forced to go to church, and when I turned 18 it was drugs or Jesus and I didn’t want either one. There are a lot of people in my hometown who use so I knew I needed to get away. I joined the military and served in the Army for 6 years. After the military, I got into the entertainment industry and moved to Florida. I was captivated by the lifestyle, but it led to the start of my addiction. I was introduced to cocaine and I was off to the races. It started out slow, but weekends changed to weekdays, and then I got into trafficking. It was all bad. I got into contact with my family, and I started bringing drugs back to my hometown. It got so bad that one of my friends lost his life. I ended up moving to California and kept working in the entertainment industry, going to all the parties, but it was a tough lifestyle to keep up with. It looks glamorous, but I felt the emptiest I ever felt. None of it was real.
I knew I needed to get back to my roots. I moved back to Kentucky and started working in the restaurant industry. I’m a good actor – I can hide my habit, I can pretend everything is fine, and it’s like a whole character. It became a rat race; you don’t trust anyone, and it creates a lot of pain. But life is great now. When I first came to the Hope Center, I didn’t know what AA or recovery was. I thought it was brainwashing. I had the worst attitude and wasn’t listening to anyone. After a while, it started to click. I started practicing principles in my life and things I’d never done before. The fellowship and everything here, it’s overwhelming. My daughters back in my life now – I was never there for her, but now I can be. I’m so happy to be in her life and know that I can be there for her. My fiancé has been holding things down while I’ve been here, and she’s just excited for me to be home. She can tell I’m completely different.
I was born in Mason County and then moved to Nicholasville. I never did drugs in high school, but I went to college in California and started using when I was out there. I realized California was a lot different from Kentucky, but I still stayed there and played football. I ended up coming home to Kentucky and brought some pot with me from California and ended up selling. I was introduced to crack at my friend’s house, he tricked me into smoking it then convinced me to buy some. After a while, I fell in love with it. I had a one year old son at the time, and I didn’t see my wife or my son anymore. My life started to spiral down. I was in and out of jail and making poor decisions. I went to church, I found God, and I’d get clean for a while and then I’d relapse.
I realized I wasn’t done smoking, I was just done with the consequences.
That went on until my son was about 8 or so. I was still using off and on, and I abandoned my family. They all thought I was dead. Nothing was strong enough to make me want to go back home. I went back to jail again, and everyone cut me off. I couldn’t understand why and I was mad at them. My ex-wife was the only one who answered my calls. I finally got to the Hope Center 4 months ago, and I hated it. In the beginning I thought I was doing it just for my kids and my wife, but through this process I realized that I have to do it for me. I had to get really honest, and see my character defects and what I’ve done to people in the past. In the program I learned that I was hurting everyone else and myself. I’m building relationships back, even my mom sees a change in me and trusts me now.
I’m so appreciative of this program because it’s shown me that I can be a better person, life can be better without drugs. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it makes me really hopeful.
I’ve learned that if I just put my mind to it and leave the drugs alone, I can be anything I want to be, I just have to be willing.
bought a used rental car and came up here this time last year. I wound up in a VA hospital looking for help with housing and employment but I somehow ended up in the mental health ward. I was there for a short time before they sent me to an assisted care facility in Independence, Kentucky. They didn’t tell me I was going be in a restricted program, meaning I couldn’t leave the property. I tried to take a hike one day and they came after me. After that, they asked me to leave. I eventually made it to Lexington. At first I went to a hospital, but they told me I didn’t meet their criteria, so they brought me to the Hope Center. Before that, I had been told I wasn’t going to get any social security checks.
I knew nothing about veteran benefits, and it turned out that the best thing that could’ve happened to me was coming here.
The day after I got here, they started helping me get it all figured out. I get counseling from people at the mental health program. They ask you how you’re doing, how things are going, and help you figure out how you’re feeling. Tiff any is very, very helpful. She gave me guidance because I didn’t know what to do. She got my social security squared away and helped me get my card set up. I’m here and I’m thankful. They have some good programs here.
This place has been a godsend.
I didn’t have a bad childhood. Didn’t hang out with anyone who would be considered a bad influence. In middle school, I starting drumming, and for 7 years, if I wasn’t eating or sleeping or in school, I was drumming. As soon as I put the drumsticks down, there was a void in my life, and I had to fill it with something. Everywhere I looked, there were people partying. My girlfriends all drank, my guy friends all smoked weed – I started to believe that I was lacking because I didn’t do that. I didn’t start really drinking until after I was 21. I realized I loved alcohol. Everything I wanted to hide from, it solved all my problems – or at least, I thought it did. You don’t realize how bad it gets because it’s so gradual. In five years, I went from someone who never used anything to someone who would suffer withdrawal seizures at a .417 blood alcohol level. I had a problem with using intelligence to hide from the truth. I made everything that happened to me so much more than it was, because it was easier to blow things up so that I could say it was impossible to change myself.
You cannot hide from the truth at the Hope Center.
You cannot hide from the truth at the Hope Center. They will absolutely push you to look at what’s really happening. I was held accountable for every one of my actions, for telling the truth. I had to look at myself and start telling the real truth, for my own sake. My conception of everything around me had to be broken so I could look honestly at my life from the beginning and start to build it anew. I’m now the social services caseworker for the Hope Center Emergency Shelter. It’s a different environment, but it fits. I’m not in charge of helping someone recover, but I’m in charge of helping. I’m in charge of listening. I’m not the kind of person now who can know about a problem and do nothing.
When I hear the word “home,” I immediately think of my family. But there’s a new understanding now. This is the first apartment I’ve ever had on my own. I’m free to do whatever I want. I used to be forced to sit in the floor and drink so I wouldn’t have a seizure. I didn’t have options; I wasn’t free to do anything. Now I can go to my apartment, watch what I want on TV, paint, whatever.
It’s not complacency, it’s opportunity.
I have people around me who know exactly what I mean when I say I’m having a certain type of problem. That’s a big thing.
I grew up Miami in the ghetto but went on to graduate from Wake Forest. After graduation, I had a successful career in finance working as a stock broker. I wrote a check to someone in Kentucky and the check bounced. I was notified that there was a warrant for my arrest in Kentucky, so I flew here thinking I would pay the fine and be back in Miami in a day. That was 6 months ago. I’ve lost my job, my wife, my money, and now I’m in a shelter.
I went to court, paid the check off, and got 6-months’ probation but had to stay in Kentucky as part of my punishment. I couldn’t get out of jail unless I had a local address, so someone recommended a shelter.
This facility has been a true blessing. I can’t imagine where I would be without it. I’m really grateful. I didn’t have to pay a penny, and it allowed me to get back on my feet.
At first, the thought of even coming here was scary but it was better than jail. I was sad and depressed, but as I started to navigate through the system I realized that I could make this negative situation a positive. I started utilizing the resources available. I got a job, and the shelter provided me with clothing and direction. I couldn’t have done it without this place.
When you’re down, getting back up on your feet is a monumental challenge. People will say, “Go out and find a job”, but it’s not that simple. Getting a job requires you to have a resume, clothing, you have to get to the interview, and then you wait 2-3 weeks to get paid while still having to travel to and from work every day.
In my case, even with a very small criminal record, there are many jobs that won’t hire me. I cannot go back to my old job because of the fact that I now have a felony.
There were times when I didn’t think I could make it. There is guidance here – you have people to talk to, and that’s a huge help.
Sometimes when you leave a situation, you forget it. I don’t want to forget my time here and just go along with life. I will continue to try and improve the homelessness in whatever community I live in as I go forward.This situation brought me back to reality. It’s not all about me anymore. I want the next 20-30 years to be dedicated to helping people.
I couldn’t have made it without you guys and no matter what, nothing will change that outlook. It’s my responsibility to help others now..
2013 was when I caught my first charge, a possession charge of heroin and then that led me to my first 90 day rehab. I did well for about two and a half years and then my dad died; after that I picked up right where I had left off. So I caught another charge and was in jail for nine months and got paroled here to the Hope Center.
I completed the program at the Hope Center in December 2017 and I love it here. When I first got here I did not want to be here. At first I was kind of closed minded, thinking I’ll just scoot through, do what I need to do to make it, fake it to make it. I did that for a little bit, but one day I woke up and everything just clicked. Everything made sense. Most of the staff here are recovering alcoholics, so that helps, they understand you a little better. I remember being in classes and the peer mentors were always so pumped about it and it made me pumped about it too. So then when I got to phase I didn’t want to leave.
The spirituality part of this program is what saved my life, it made a complete difference in the way that I do things and the things that I want in my life. It’s a lot different now when I go home to visit I can be left in my mom’s house by myself and that was something that wasn’t a thing she would’ve done before. She has seen some kind of change in me. I do everything, I pay my bills on my own and I’m responsible; I’ve never had that before in my life. About halfway through, I decided to peer mentor for 3 months because it’s a 3 month contract you have to sign. But then 3 months turned into 6 and 6 months turned into 9 and that’s where I’m at right now. After peer mentoring, I want to be a drug and substance abuse counselor. I’m going to take the peer support classes at BCTC and hopefully go on and get the whole degree.
When I started selling drugs, I was probably 20-21 and, you know how it is, I fell in with the wrong crowd. Eventually I found myself in Nicholasville, strung out on pills, stealing them from my wife and she called the police on me. I am incredibly thankful for that Nicholasville cop who brought me here to the Hope Center in January of 2015.
I found out that every person who works in the recovery program, peer mentors, staff, and all, they’re all addicts and alcoholics; that’s what caught my attention and that’s what made me feel comfortable. Starting to stay sober was a new thing for me, I started to actually find bits and pieces of joy while staying sober. I was able to go bowling and a trip to King’s Island. I was like, “wow, I’m having fun and I’m not using anything” and I’m enjoying the moment as it’s happening; and doing it with guys going through it like me.
Just a few weeks ago, on December 19th, my daughter graduated high school. I showed up and was able to give her cards and money; none of that matters, just that I was there. She hated me for so long, but now she’s softening up to me and who I am now. She took me to my mom’s grave for the first time. I saw my dad for the first time in over ten years; he shook my hand and was surprised by who he saw. Every day I have a stop and smell the roses moment – just a “wow, this is where I am now,” and every time, my thoughts come back to the Hope Center and what it’s done for my life.
If it weren’t for it, I’d probably be dead, I was out of options, addicted to drugs, and homeless; at the very best I’d be in jail locked up somewhere. I can’t not think of the recovery program and this place. I get chill bumps when I think about how this place works. I don’t have to preach recovery; I’m living proof of before and after and what the Hope Center can do.
My childhood was filled with a lot of misery. I lost a sibling as a child and was molested by my father. I had this feeling of not being okay. To cope I found alcohol. I thought I had finally found a solution. In that moment that I was drunk, I was okay. When I was 14, I got a DUI in a stolen car and by the time I was 16 I was drinking every day, every night.
It didn’t get any better and just like they say, as the disease progresses, the pain progressed within me. I had connections in Cincinnati and ended up running drugs to Lexington to feed my disease and fuel my addiction. The scary thing was I didn’t understand why I did the things I did. I got some pretty severe trafficking charges and I was sent through different programs. Eventually I was sent here to the Hope Center.
I went through rigorous coursework and group sessions and I started to really be educated about my disease and, in turn, learned about myself. Slowly, I started to piece things together; why I did the things I did and why I felt the way I felt. The threat of prison was never enough to keep me from using, but once I got educated about my disease I was able to turn a corner. Not only that, but as the people that work here shared their stories I can hear myself in them. These people knew what they were talking about and they found the way out – and now their life was better.
I was given direction and I had the positive influence that I had never had in life.
I learned it’s not just the big things, it is the small things like responsibility for good hygiene and being prompt. I’m getting to places on time now and I take pride in that. I wear a watch every day and I brush my teeth, as embarrassing as it sounds.
I could live to be 100 and not be able to show the gratitude I have for this place, which is why I choose to work here as a peer mentor for a while.
I get a great opportunity to focus on the new guy who feels the way I did and I get to show him how I found a way out of it.
I was in active addiction for 25 years. I first started using alcohol and marijuana when I was 11. Crack found me when I was about 26, and I came to the Hope Center at age 43. My initial reason for coming to the Hope Center was that I wanted to sleep. An old friend there encouraged me to go to detox, so I did.
One of the guys in the recovery program started taking me to recovery classes. At one of those classes, Dave [Brown] asked the question, “Why do you believe what you believe?” I pondered that, and one of my beliefs was that I liked getting high. But once I examined that, I realized I didn’t like getting high, because of the consequences. At one point, I was outside and an old friend of mine who had gone through the recovery program pulled up in his car. I hadn’t seen him in ten years, and he gave me a big hug and said, “Don’t go anywhere. You’re in the best place you can possibly be.” I decided I’d give recovery a shot, and entered the program in June 2007. Dave asked what I wanted from the program. I said, “I need to learn how to stay stopped.” I had stopped using, many times, but staying clean was a different thing.
I had been in treatment eight times before then and learned lots from my other recovery experiences, but I didn’t adhere to any of it. So much of my experience in recovery was someone telling me stuff I already knew, but this time, it clicked. I did listen, I did share, I examined myself, and I did the things I was asked, like getting a sponsor.
Recovery is real work. It requires you to get inside yourself. I was really able to connect with my higher power here.
By the time I came to the Hope Center, I was homeless, I had nothing, I was completely relying on God. I could look and see the evidence of God in my life, God putting other people in my life to challenge me to think differently – not better, just different. I allowed people to look at my behavior and help me with it, rather than taking offense to their comments. It’s an opportunity to be helped. You can’t see your own behavior. The staff here did that for me.
I got through the program, graduated that November, and stayed on as a peer mentor. I then found a job and moved out to St. James Place – I’m a veteran so I got veteran housing, and stayed there for 6 months. I was directed to other agencies for help with my job and help with first month’s rent on a new place. I found my wife, we bought a house, and we are building a life together, the way I wanted to. We’ve been married ten years. We started one of our businesses in 2012, and started another business a few years after. Now I’m getting ready to get into finance and asset management.
Looking back, there were so many times I put myself at death’s door, but God saw fit to keep me alive. The Book says we can recover, and we do. I have a strong support system, I take responsibility for me and my family, and I have friends in recovery whom I talk to regularly. This is living. When I was using, I wasn’t living. I was dying. Slowly killing myself every day. In my world today, there are no issues with drugs and alcohol. That’s the world I chose to live in. I’m happy with who I am in every aspect. I’ve been living my “best life” for the last 12 years.
The Hope Center saved my life. They gave me all the tools I needed to survive and thrive, to live, go forward, and be great. Help is here. Help is right now.
I got here March 10, 2018. I had been in recovery before, but when I left I wasn’t doing anything I was taught, I wasn’t going to meetings or talking to a sponsor or praying and meditating. I was out drinking. I started using drugs when I was 14. I grew up in an ideal home and had a great childhood, but I never really felt like I was a part of; I felt left out. When I started using drugs, I felt better and I thought it was the solution to all my problems. I ended up dropping out of college and I couldn’t hold down a job. I eventually ended up in jail.
When I got here I knew it was going to be a lot of work. I was willing, because I knew I had to be. I was open minded and honest.
Throughout the program I realized I really wanted a new life more than I wanted to use drugs.
Throughout this process I’ve opened up and it’s been a total mental change for me. I’ve been able to communicate better with my family. Today I have a relationship with my mom – she comes here about once or twice a month.
Now, I’m able to help other people.
Whenever I’m feeling down or upset, I know one of the things I can do to get out of myself is help other people. I want to be of maximum service to God and other people. In the peer mentor office I try to lead other women in the right direction and give them advice that helped me make good decisions. I check on them and make sure they’re doing what they’re supposed to be doing. I found my own concept of a higher power and that helped me to move forward in the program.
I like to share my experience with those I’m peer mentoring. I like to let them know that when they mess up, it’s an opportunity for growth. Take a look at what you’ve done, and just work to make better decisions. Recovery takes a lot of hard work and effort, but it’s totally worth it in the end. This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m grateful for this place and what it’s done for me. The staff is amazing and it’s shown me a new way of life. My sobriety date is March 5, 2018. I know I’ll be okay if I keep working and I just take it a day at a time. As long as I keep doing the right thing, I know I’ll be okay.
I was born in Lancaster, Kentucky and moved to Lexington when I was 6. When I was 10 years old, my dad passed away. I was a bitter young man back then and I blamed God for my father’s death. I started hanging out with guys who were using drugs and drinking, and I was the square of the group. I wouldn’t drink or use or do anything. But after a while, I started using too. I eventually stopped drinking, but I couldn’t stop the drugs. I’m an emotional person and I’ve always liked to help people, but I just let drugs take over. Crack cocaine was my drug of choice. I lost my job of 15 years, and there was more pressure on me to keep the pain away.
I was stealing just to support my habit. My mom got fed up with it, and she told me that she didn’t want to see me again until my life was straightened out. I packed my stuff, and I left. I was upset but I understood because I was killing myself.
I met someone who was in the Hope Center program. He told me about the program and said I needed to get over here and check it out. I was skeptical and I didn’t want to do it at first, but I knew I needed to get my life figured out. I wanted it bad, but I was scared because I didn’t know what to expect. Once I got in, I met a couple guys who were in the same situation I was in and used the same drug I did. We helped each other.
I got here August 24, 2018. This is the first time I’ve been clean for this long. I had to sit back and ask myself, what do I want in life? I just needed to find the willpower to get through this program and stay.
Now I can be here and help the next guy. I can use my experience from the things I used to do to help people, and I love it.
I live in an apartment in the Don Ball Campus Center and it means a lot to me. I can call this place a home. This has really helped me keep things in perspective, I know I’m doing well and I can keep it up. My mother’s proud of me, my kids are happy because they have their old dad back, the one who’s laughing all the time and joking around. I also got into fitness while I’ve been here. It helps me relieve pressure, and if I have a bad day I can just go up to the YMCA and work out.
The Hope Center changed my life, and I appreciate everything this place has given me. It gave me hope and faith in myself. I can achieve anything. I appreciate everyone who works here: staff, peer mentors, everyone.
This is a great place to come if you’re feeling lost. I was lost and now I’m found. This place is a godsend.
I started using regularly when I was 15 after I was prescribed opiates due to a car accident. I never really fit in, so when I got the prescriptions it gave a role to play in my friend group. I started selling them and abusing them. I kept using opioids, and eventually got addicted to heroin. I went through rehab a couple times, and I was trying so hard on my own to get sober. I realized I couldn’t do it on my own, I was trying but I was desperate for something different. I came here in November 2018 after 8 and 1/2 months in jail. I came into the program really willing to do something different. I’ve worked the steps before but I wasn’t willing to take a look at my behavior or what I was doing wrong.
This program has helped me find a purpose and sense of self again.
My family is really supportive. Being able to move into my own place would be amazing, and it would be the first time that I’ve had my own space. It’s going to mean a lot to me to start being independent and self-sufficient. I want to go back to school to do something with art or in the field of recovery. I just started peer mentoring. I really looked up to the peer mentors I had, they would always ask how I was and it was nice to be open and vulnerable.
This program is different because the love in this house is key. It starts with staff, then it trickles down and it’s contagious. I’m really glad I’m here.